In dreams
by Anne-Lilian
Summary: The Doctor dreams, and comes to a realization... Slight, implied Rose/Doctor, NOT FLUFF!


**A/N: Yes, yes, I know, _another one_, but I couldn't help it! I'm still working on all the others, I swear. I just love Rose and the Doctor... Enjoy!**

He must've been dreaming. But then, in the fashion of dreams, that didn't really surprise him. "I want to show you something," she said. She was serious; no teasing grin on her lovely face, no quirked eyebrow, just her, looking at him neutrally.

"Where are we?" he asked, wanting to look around, but unable to look away from the face he had so missed these last few years.

"In your head, I'd imagine," she said, taking a look around herself. The space around them was all white, and the Doctor couldn't sense any end to the room, no walls or ceiling. Neither of them cast a shadow on the ground.

"You said you wanted to show me something," he reminded her, still not looking away from her. He had seen her confused, happy, sad, terrified, bored, and almost any other emotion imaginable, but rarely had he seen her so blank. He could tell there were a million different emotions churning just below the surface, but – aside from the occasional flicker in her eyes – it was invisible to him. He was not used to that.

She finally smiled – just a quirk of the lips, but still – it calmed him more than any words ever could have. "Two things actually. I see you're still as bloody curious as before," she said, her smile turning into a small grin.

The Doctor frowned. "What two things?" he asked, instead of replying to her comment. He was afraid that if he gave in and talked to her that he might say too much, or do too much.

"Right," she said, her face resolved. Another one he'd seen before. "The first one is mostly memories." Her mask slipped only for a moment, but it was enough for the Doctor to see the endless sadness and pity etched onto her face. "It's not going to be pleasant."

He couldn't help a snort. "When is anything ever?"

She shook her head. "No, it's going to hurt, and you're going to wonder why I'm doing this to you, and you'll hate me for it. Just remember that I have one more thing to show you after this," she warned.

The Doctor was sceptical – that was a new one when it came to her. "Alright, get started, then."

The woman stepped forward, pushing her blonde hair behind her ears. "I'm sorry," she whispered, almost inaudibly. And then the pain came.

When she'd said it would hurt, he thought she meant physical pain, but this was far worse than any bodily harm that had ever come to him.

She had lifted a hand and swept it across the room, causing it to change. They were images, memories from his past. But they weren't the sort of memories he wanted to relive. He saw his ninth regeneration shouting at a Dalek, laughing manically, his tenth self staring at Rose's faceless head, and feeling the rage build, he saw himself get rid of the Family of Blood, saw the Racnoss screaming for her children, saw his eleventh self being merciless, saw his ninth self torture the Dalek, and he saw himself refusing to give second chances, over and over again. The Fury of a Timelord.

By the end of it, he was on his knees, begging her to stop. The blonde knelt next to him, the sadness radiating off of her and tears for him shining unshed in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Doctor," she whispered again.

He reached out and clung to her, burying his head in her neck. "Why?" he managed to chock out.

"Because you needed to see, you needed to realize. She told me to show you… I had to," she murmured, holding him close, and rubbing soothing circles on his back.

He pushed back from her, staring deep into her eyes. A tiny golden light flickered there. "Who told–" he started to ask, but he had a suspicion.

"The Bad Wolf," she replied, only a sight tremor in her voice.

The Doctor closed his eyes. It wasn't fair, he'd taken it out of her, she was supposed to be free of it!

"Rose," he whispered, the pain that much worse than for anything he had just seen.

She shook her head, in an almost frustrated manner. "No, Doctor, this is not your fault, you don't get to blame yourself and add to your pile of guilt," she said. The corner of her mouth twisted downward, and the Doctor was instantly sure that she was aware of the irony of that statement. She _had_ just been showing her his worst moments; the things he felt most guilty about.

"Besides, I still have something to show you," she said, helped him up, and swept her hand over the room again.

At first, he wasn't quite sure what she was showing him. They weren't all memories of his, some of the images were on planets he recognised, and some even portrayed people he knew from his adventures, but he hadn't lived them. Other scenes were of him laughing along with Rose, or Jack, one vivid one showed him how everyone lived when the nanogenes fixed little Jamie during the London blitz. Another showed him Donna and Martha two-teaming him, another was Jenny, telling him excitedly how she'd made a _choice_ not to end someone's life. It took him a minute, but he finally realized that he was seeing all the happy endings of his adventures. Some of those he hadn't seen, hadn't witnessed, but she was showing them to him all the same. More than a few of them showed the two of them. His tenth regeneration and her, Rose Tyler. Not all of the scenes before him were extraordinary, some of them were just the two of them arguing over which movie to watch next, or making breakfast together. He idly wondered how he could still say he didn't do domestic when his life with Rose had been so… well… _domestic_.

He turned to her with tears in his eyes, questions in them that he was afraid to voice. But Rose understood. Rose always understood.

"They call you the Oncoming Storm, the Destroyer of Worlds, the Lonely God, and all those other things, but they don't know you. You always try to save people, and you _care_," she said, a passion in her tone that drew him in like a moth to a flame. "You feel so deeply that people forget that it's not only your anger that can be terrific. The sheer force of the love you feel, and the guilt, the happiness and sadness… it's enough to bring tears to anyone's eyes." She rested a hand against his cheek and wiped away his tears. It felt odd, the sensation of her hand on his face still brought the same feelings to the fore, but it was a different face now. Consequently, her hand felt a little too small.

"Am I dreaming?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes," she replied simply. "But that doesn't make it any less real, if you're wondering. The Bad Wolf is only partly present in the both of us, and it can only work with our subconscious." She frowned. "Or that's what she tells me, at least."

"You can hear her?"

Rose nodded, absently moving her hand from his cheek to the back of his neck, and played with the hair there. "It's like a song in my mind, sort what the TARDIS sounds like." Her gaze was unfocussed, and staring at some point of his shoulder. He doubted she was aware of what her ministrations to his hair were doing to him.

"Why are you here?" he asked, still not raising his voice.

"She said that you needed to know. I think she feels what I feel, sometimes. I can feel her stirring." Her eyes finally focussed on his again. "You're not a bad person, Doctor, and you should never give up. Because you might meet another little Jamie out there who can be saved. Or another Donna Noble, who can be so _fantastic_," she continued. Her lips quirked into that patented Rose Tyler grin again. "Remember, Doctor. Who are we?" He looked at her, half of him still feeling the mind-crushing guilt, and the other – reluctantly – listening to her. "We're the stuff of legends." Her tongue poked out, and the sheer happiness that radiated off of her swept him up and made all the bad things go away. For the first time in a long, _long_ time, he felt like a little boy again, and Rose arms, that had somehow wound themselves around him again, made him feel safe, and loved.

"You're fantastic, Doctor, and I love you," she whispered, and everything faded.

/*/

Amy didn't think she'd ever seen the Doctor so… serene. There was no other word for it. She'd seen him cheerful, but this seemed deeper somehow. More… joyful? Usually, even when he was smiling, there'd be this sadness underneath, or maybe guilt, but now… It was the first time she'd seen him truly _happy_, blissful, even.

"What happened with you?" she asked him, unable to contain her curiosity.

He looked up at her, his eyes open and unguarded for once. "I had a nice dream," he said, a small smile playing around his lips.

Amy frowned. "What about?"

The Doctor stayed silent for a moment, thinking it over. "The Big Bad Wolf," he replied, his smile growing into a grin.

**A/N: Review!**


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